Salt

Move over Jason Bourne, your time has past. Meet the new face of bad-ass spies, Ms. Evelyn Salt.

Salt starts out with CIA agents Salt (Jolie) and Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber) about to punch out for the day when a Russian man walks off the street and says he has knowledge about Russian Spies. The man then goes into a story of how the Russians have developed a system to take children in, “Americanize” them, and create the ultimate spy. Then he drops a bomb-shell. He explains that the Russian President will be assassinated by a Russian spy tomorrow during the funeral of the U.S. Vice President. The name of that spy is Evelyn Salt. Salt then performs a miraculous escape, while trying to reach her husband, who she believes to be in danger now that she is suspected of being a Russian spy. Which leaves you wondering throughout most of the movie as Salt runs from the Secret Service and CIA, “Who is Evelyn Salt?”

Now, was Salt a good movie? Yes.

Was Angelina Jolie pretty amazing doing some of her “death-defying” stunts? Yes.

Did Salt do anything different from other action/spy movies? No, and that’s the Achilles heel of Salt. We’ve seen enough cliche’ car chases to last a lifetime. Climbing on outside walls was already perfected by Matt Damon in The Bourne Identity and Spiderman, so please no more of that. And Jolie already did the stunt of jumping on fast moving objects in her surprise hit Wanted. So, in a nutshell, for action fans, this is just Hollywood throwing up old stunts, and putting a pretty face on it. Plus, with an ending that is somewhat of a cliff-hanger, you have to wonder if there will be a second Salt. For our sake, lets hope not.

2 stars out of 4

Fight Club

I go to my local video store. I enter the “Favorites” section, and come across a movie labeled “I am Jack’s Movie”. Striking a curious spark of interest in me, I grab the dusty movie and head home. When I pop the DVD in, what do I find? The fabled, the infamous, one-of-the-best-movies-no-ones-ever-seen. Fight Club.

Fight Club is centered around an unnamed narrator (Edward Norton). We quickly learn that the “Narrator” is a struggling insomniac that has no one there for him. He soon discovers support groups (testicular cancer, brain tumor’s, etc.) are the tickets to the train for his ecstatic high. When he discovers that another woman is doing the same thing, the “Narrator” confronts her and they agree to split up support groups. Yet the all changes when the “Narrator” meets Tyler Durden. Tyler shows the “Narrator” how to live life to the fullest, how society is crumbling and someone needs to take a stand. Tyler and the “Narrator” then open the door with an underground boxing gang called “Fight Club”. Soon Fight Clubs are popping up all over the nation, and it seems as if the “Narrator” has finally found his place in life. Yet Tyler has bigger dreams for his new army of the Average Joes. Dreams that would affect more than just the pitiful lives of his followers.

With Brad Pitt and Norton giving phenomenal performances, this movie was just great to watch. That being said, there is one thing that needs to be pointed out. The plot, which starts out so fantastically, ends with a question mark. Expect a somewhat of a twist.

3 stars out of 4

“The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.” These words will go down as one of Brad Pitt’s best lines.

Best and Worst of 2010 (So Far...)

Well, it really has not been the greatest year for movies. With flops such as The Last Airbender, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Clash of the Titans, I almost couldn’t find a movie worse than these three. However, I think I have.

The Worst Movie of 2010 (so far) has to be: Killers. This was just a complete waste of 93 minutes of my life. It was just a tasteless, zero comedy, zero chemistry movie with a plot already used in tons of other movies. Self-Conscious girl meets hot guy. They fall in love. Turns out he kills people. She accepts that. The End. That’s basically how this movie went. And I am sick and tired of Katherine Heigl playing the part of the woman who can’t get a man. She obvious is very pretty and seeing her in this role puts a “Are you kidding?” thought in my head. 1/2 a star out of 4.

And now for the Best of 2010 (so far). There have been some really beautiful pearls in this years load of crap called movies. Some of these include Toy Story 3, Shutter Island, and Get Him to the Greek (which acts almost as a sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall). Yet there has to be a winner and this year, it’s a tie. Now, i realize that having a tie for Best Movie just seems idiotic, but I honestly can type that i couldn’t choose between either two. The Best Movies of 2010 (so far) has to be: Kick Ass and Inception.

Kick Ass truely surprised me. With such an original storyline, great cast of characters and starring one of the funniest people alive in Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLOVIN’!) this is as good as a “Must Own”. 4 stars out of 4.

Unlike Kick Ass, Inception didn’t surprise me by how well it was. It BLEW MY MIND. With a plot filled with twists, humor, action, and an ending that leaves you guessing, Inception was just fantastic. And with breathtaking special effects, it didn’t need 3D to be a great IMAX movie. Yet the best actor wasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio. That title goes to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who basically acted his way into Chris Nolan’s (Director) Third Batman movie, possibly playing The Riddler. When the time comes for Inception to come on DVD, I will definitely be in line for my copy. 4 stars out of 4

Quick Rundown and Oscar Pick

Cop Out: Has funny moments, but Tracy Morgan needs to calm down. 2 1/2 stars out of 4

Dear John: Story line becomes too incomprehensible near the end and Channing Tatum just cannot act. However, some moments do make you want to grab on to your special someone and to not let go. 2 stars out of 4

The Crazies: George A. Romero would have been proud of the amount of sick, twisted, irronic gore that this one displays. It’s borderline disgusting. 2 1/2 stars out of 4

She’s Out of My League: Funny trailer and cast, just not a great performance. Also, Adam Tomei and Alice Eve just do NOT have good camera chemistry. 1 1/2 stars out of 4

And now, the Oscars. It was almost disappointing this year. Granted, I DID want The Hurt Locker to get Picture of the Year, I just believe Avatar and James Cameron deserved more awards than what was given.

Daybreakers

(WARNING: THIS MOVIE ISN”T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART)

Those Spierig brothers are at it again (Undead, 2003)! And this time, these aren’t your average Twilight vampires. They won’t protect you from werewolves. These vampires will slash, bash, and gash just to get that last drop of human blood, or die trying.

The year is 2019. 10 years ago, a plague has transformed much of the world’s humans into blood-sucking vampires. Now, only 5% of the human population remains. Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke, Training Day) is a vampire scientist (yes, I know, great original vampire name) trying to find a blood substitute for the dwindling human blood supply, because if the vampires do not get the required amount of blood, they would mutate into demonic winged creatures called subsiders and have an uncontrollable urge for human blood. He has no one to turn to with his prospects for finding a cure to save humanity. With his brother Frankie (Micheal Dorman, Walnut) is the army and a human hunter, and with the company he works for being a house for human cattle, it seems that all Edward can do is wait for the Vampire race to die out. While on his way home, Edward ends up in a fender bender with an SUV containing some of the last free humans. Soon after, the police arrive and Edward hides the humans in his car, proving to the humans that he is a trustworthy vampire that will help them with their cause. After making contact with a human woman who was in the SUV, Edward sets up a meeting with a human that has discovered a possible cure to the vampirism. And with the whole vampire population on the brink of world wide famine, could this human know the cure?

This movie was crazy! The directors gave the audience some good ol’ fashioned vampires that don’t play footsie with humans. And with bodies exploding, heads being ripped off, guts flying through the air, it’s nice for people who don’t really enjoy the gore genre to have a great actor as a companion through this demonic hell. Ethan Hawke was at the top of his game, and with costars such as Sam Niell (Jurassic Park I and III) and Isabel Lucas (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen), the chemistry between these vampires were a thousand times better than the supposed vampire chemistry in the Twilight series.

However, the special effects weren’t as up to date with technology as some movies, such as Avatar and Transformers, are. Also, some of the scenes were just rushed through, while other seemingly unimportant scenes were dragged on far too long.

Overall, this movie isn’t a must see, yet a great movie for fans off blood spewing, gore splattering action. But if you’re looking for a sappy human-vampire love story, you’re looking in the wrong theater.

2 1/2 stars out of 4

Sherlock Holmes

OK, lets just get this out of the way. THIS MOVIE WILL BLOW YOUR MIND! It totally redefines what makes a great detective. Every single person in a CSI wishes they held Holmes immense logic. He is able to figure out even the most witful criminal just by, literally, looking at them. If real, he would have gone down in history as the greatest detective ever.

A man by the name of Lord Blackwood has been going around London, executing evil rituals and spreading black magic. When Holmes foils Blackwoods ritual, in which a woman was going to kill herself, and sends Blackwood to jail, he informs Holmes that there are things in which Holmes cannot control and he must “Widen your gaze, Holmes” in order to solve Blackwoods intentions. With the help of his trustful sidekick, Watson, Holmes enters a world of magic, politics, and futuristic inventions. Will Holmes survive, or will he fall into a spider’s web of trickery?

All in all, this is probably in the top 50 best movies I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of movies.

3 1/2 out of 4

Where The Wild Things Are

So Hollywood has tried making an hour and 40 minute movie out of one of the best-selling children books of all time (the book is only 48 pages long and mostly pictures). Well you can’t hate them for trying.

OK, so Where the Wild Things Are is based on a child called Max, who is basically a brat and has no friends, who runs away from home and sails away on a boat to an island where wild things live. (Whoa, wait a minute. How the heck does this kid become like a sailor on a boat that is basically on the ocean?) Once he encounters the Wild Things (huge beasts) and they try to eat him, Max explains they can’t eat him because he has magical powers and could destroy them all. He also persuades them to allow him to become king. ( How is this a kid’s movie when the Wild Things eat humans?) The rest of the movie teaches Max how he isn’t old enough to truly take care of himself and how he needs his family. (That's all I will say, in fear of giving away the ending, not that I’m encouraging ANYONE to see this movie.)

But let me just make this VERY clear. This. Movie. Sucked. It is just SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO STUPID AND BORING! My 4 year old sister hated it! It is definitely one of the worst attempts EVER when trying to create a movie based off of a book. Max was a cry baby and a major brat. He bites his own mom and she doesn't hit him? Be reasonable moms, if your 8-9 year old son stood on your counter when you have a new boyfriend over IN a wolf suit, shouts “Feed me, woman!” and then BITES you (not like a nip, but actual teeth marks) you aren’t going to do ANYTHING?!? And how does this kid survive on an island for like 5 weeks without food? It was just idiotic and unreasonable. So, for all you other critics that get PAID to do what I love doing, who paid you off to give this a good rating? Certainly not me.

1 star out of 4

Law Abiding Citizen

So Gerard Butler just kicks total ass. He was bad ass in 300, he was a smooth ass in The Ugly Truth, and now he becomes an unpredictable ass-HOLE in this year’s best crime drama (so far).

When Clyde Shelton (Butler) opens the door to his home, he never had the thought that in a few minutes he would be stabbed, watch his wife get raped, and watch his daughter die. After suffering one of the worst sufferings known to man, Shelton wants revenge. Unfortunately, the prosecutor that is working for him, Nick Rice (Foxx), doesn't seem to know the difference between winning for whats right and winning for a good conviction rate. When only one of the robbers in Shelton’s house gets the death penalty (the one that didn’t rape or kill anyone, by the way) and the other only gets 5 years, Clyde begins to plot. And boy does he. After 10 YEARS(!), his plan starts going into action. Now this is where things get all weird and awesome.

Clyde somehow lures his wife and daughter’s killer to a car, which he drives to an abandoned warehouse and goes all Jigsaw-y (the guy from Saw) on him. He paralyzes him and cuts him into 25 pieces with surgical precision, and he never looks back. He records his little moment and sends it to Rice (Foxx), and starts killing everyone that was involved in his family’s trial. He blows the brains out of the judge, blows up about 6 city officials, and kills his attacker’s attorney, while he was in JAIL!

It was unbelievable yet captivating at the same time! I won’t tell you the ending but, wow, it’s crazy. This is a DEFINITE must see.

3 1/2 stars out of 4

Whip It

Parents are always telling their children to “Follow your Dreams”, and that’s just what Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page) does, no matter how unbelievable it is, in this directorial-debut of Drew Barrymore.

“Whip It” follows the story of Bliss Cavendar, an Indie-loving, unpopular teen that is continually pushed into beauty pageants by her over-bearing mother, as she makes the transition from her normal, follow-the-rules routine into her alter-ego, Babe Ruthless, the fastest, slippery Jammer (a position in Roller Derby) on the leagues worst team, The Hurl Scouts. Along the way, Bliss discovers first-love and heartbreak in the man of her dreams and has to constantly overcome mother-daughter differences. But as I mentioned before, a lot of this movie was unbelievable.

First, she lies to the Derby league about her age and she gets away with it? Come on, even though Ellen Page IS 22, she looks like she is 18 (the league age is 21)! Second, there is a part where Bliss and the man she falls in love with break into a school to go swimming in the pool? Where are the security alarms or janitors after what felt like three hours of swimming? And thirdly, since when do parents not care about their 17-year-old daughter on a school night? Although Bliss lies to her parents about taking an SAT class in order to make practice, she is gone from the time school lets out until midnight and no one is worried?

I’m not saying this movie wasn’t good, because it was (especially the names other derby members have, like Jabba the Slut and Smashley Simpson), just a lot of this movie was very unbelievable.

2 out of 4

Orphan

Okay, take this from a person who HATES horror movies because he gets scared really easily. This is not, I repeat NOT, a scary movie. But this movie is still really good. From the beginning where you watch how traumatizing a still birth can be on a mother to the climatic end where everything starts to fit into place about Esther, you are on the edge of your seat, popcorn rushing into your mouth faster than ever, heart beating like you’re running a marathon, and the soda is gone before you know it.

Ok, so as I mentioned before, the beginning starts out with Kate Coleman having a flashback on her still birth. While trying to deal with their loss, they decide to adopt an older child. a girl, for their deaf daughter to look up to. While at the orphanage, John stumbles up stairs and finds Esther, a very bright and mature little girl that came to the U.S. from Russia. Well, Dad and Esther click immediately and about 10 minutes later, Esther is coming to the Coleman’s home. As the movie progresses, you learn that Kate is a recovering alcoholic and weird things have been happening around Esther lately. A girl she didn’t like somehow broke her ankle, a nun who is suspicious of Esther turns up dead (you watch Esther take care of her with a hammer), and the Coleman’s son, Daniel, is somehow trapped inside his tree house that is on fire. After someone AGAIN tries to kill Daniel when he is in the hospital, Kate cracks and hits Esther, which leads to her being trapped in the hospital and receiving a shot to knock her out, while her deaf daughter and oblivious John are home alone with Esther. Will Kate be able to save her family after everyone has turned on her because of her beliefs about Esther? Or will she be to late?

(Note: Do not see this movie if you are having thoughts about adoption)

3 stars out of 4

Funny People

I went to see this movie on Friday night. I walked into the theater at 9:15 p.m., bought my popcorn and drink, parked myself in the best seat left and waited for the movie to start (which was at 9:30 p.m.). Do you want to know what time I got out at? 12:20 a.m.! This movie is just WAY to long! I was nearly pleading with the screen for it to end! And near the end, its not even really a comedy anymore, its more like a SOAP OPERA! Judd Apatow should know how to create a great funny movie, since he directed The 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up. Now that I got that off my chest, lets talk about the good things about the movie. First, ADAM SANDLER! I personally never really liked Adam because he was always WAY to obnoxious for the screen. Yet, somehow, he has given one of the best performances of his life! He was extremely funny in this film and was able to keep his composure ALMOST throughout it all. Just an all around great performance. Second, Seth Rogen. Is there a film this guy can’t be funny in? I enjoy watching his films so much, it almost feels like he is that one friend everyone has that just keeps the jokes a-rollin’ the whole night. And last but not least, the all-star cast! Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Aziz Ansari, and also with performances from Ray Romano, Sarah Silverman, and Eminem, just makes you laugh at how funny this movie will be JUST WITH THE CAST! How many movies can do that!?

1 1/2 stars out of 4

Sweeny Todd

Yes, I know Johnny Depp stars in this movie. Yes, I also know this movie is a musical/goth movie. And no, I don't have a problem saying I enjoyed this movie.

OK, so this movie is centered around Sweeney Todd, a weathered man traveling to London on a boat with a dark and disturbing past. Turns out, ol’ Sweeney (Formerly known at the time as Benjamin Barker) had a perfect life as a barber with a beautiful wife and baby girl. One day, a man named Judge Turpin, one of the most powerful judges in the city, sees Todd’s wife and wants her. So if you were a man in power and were used to getting what you wanted, what would you do? That's right, he took her and her baby, while Todd was sent away (you never learn where to). Well, Todd wants revenge and doesn't want just to kill him, he wants to kill him with his trusty razors. And with a loyal woman at his side that needs a new SPICE for her meat pies, there is no stopping the deranged duo.

Although the blood in this movie looks a little like fruit punch, this movie is still gruesome and shows what level people would sink to in order to get revenge. Plus, the songs aint half bad.

3 stars out of 4

The Ugly Truth

Another romantic comedy where you know what is going to happen in the end………(sigh). Thank God that it’s at least funny!

Abby, a workaholic producer at a show that is getting canceled, is looking for Mr. Right. Mike, the host of cable t.v. show “The Ugly Truth”, KNOWS there isn’t a Mr. Right. When Abby’s t.v. show just isn’t doing good in ratings, Corporate decides to bring in someone to give the show a little spice. Who do you think that is? If you guessed cable t.v. host Mike, then you would be correct! Soon after their first encounter, Abby meets her “Mr. Right”, who lives next door. Only problem is, Abby just flat-out doesn't know how to make a guy like her. Well then, who should she ask for advice? If you guessed, Mike from the show that tells women the truth about guys, well you would be right again! You’re good at this game, or is it simply because we all have heard the same story line about A HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES!? Seriously, how hard is it for Hollywood to make a movie that surprises you, instead of just making you laugh at parts and wishing you were doing something productive with your lives at others? Maybe I’m being to harsh. This WAS a funny movie. Just the thought that you know whats going to happen at the end is just depressing. If you have never seen a romantic comedy before, go and see it. If you want a good laugh, but not so funny that you’re crying, see this movie. BUT, if you want to actually do something with your life instead of wasting 97 minutes of it, pass on this one.

2 stars out of 4

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter is back and more bad-ass than ever! In the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, face more danger than ever before in the corridors of Hogwarts, including a new enemy, hormones.

Its dark times in the wizarding world. People are disappearing from their beds at night, no one knows who to really trust anymore, and Death Eaters are running loose. Even muggles are starting to notice something is wrong when a perfectly fine bridge falls to pieces as if it were made of Popsicle sticks. And still, life goes on. This year, as Harry becomes more attuned with the other gender, we see friends fight and fall in love with each other. We notice Harry’s certain liking of someone close to him, and we find out the truely dark and twisted path the boy called Tom Riddle followed until his transformation into the most dark wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort.

Director David Yates (Director of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) truly received the best acting out of his three tremendously talented lead actors and finally gave the series time to slow down and allow the characters to mature more. He also sets up the mood for the final two movies (that's right, TWO more movies, although there is only one book to go) and gives the audience sense that soon, and I mean by next year November soon, all hell is going to break loose.

3 1/2 stars out of 4

Bruno

Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again! The star of Borat makes sitting in the theater and watching people react to him as if he were a real person even MORE uncomfortable with Bruno, a gay t.v. host from Austria coming to America to create a career for himself. Making out with a ghost, having people in America preview his show and basically flashing a penis at them the whole time, adopting an African baby (which he says he swaped an ipod for and gave him a traditional black name, O.J.), and going to a swinger’s party are just some of the new tricks Cohen has up his sleave. But lets face it, Cohen’s movies are getting a little bland now. Borat was great, but this is just kind of a disappointment. Its just the same thing with a different title and the jokes are nowhere near as funny. And the things “Bruno” does, are just down right weird. Sometimes, you have to draw a line between comedy, and reality.

2 1/2 stars out of 4 (Note: I would advise to people old enough that they should NOT bring anyone under 10 to see this movie)

The Hangover

Wow. When i first saw this trailer, I thought “This is gonna be one of the stupidest movies I’m ever gonna see”. Boy was wrong.

It starts out with 4 friends, Phil , Stu , and Alan , going to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate their friend’s, Doug (Justin Bartha), bachelor party. After a quick drink on the roof top of Ceaser’s Palace, the movie zooms forward to the next morning to the Villa they are staying at. The room is a complete mess, a tiger is in the bathroom, a baby is in the closet, Stu is missing a tooth, the three cannot remember a single event from the previous night, and the trio’s bff Doug is nowhere to be found. As the movie progresses, the trio learn what the hell happened to them, why they have a baby, why Mike Tyson (yes, he IS in this movie, yet he strangley gives a decent performance) is trying to kill them, and where Doug is.

Director Todd Phillips, known for directing movies such as “Old School” and “Road Trip”, really pushed his stars into their element by making them give their best performances to date and allowed laughter and comedy to just flow through the film, instead of long dragged out jokes. This movie is a must see.

4 stars out of 4