Where The Wild Things Are

So Hollywood has tried making an hour and 40 minute movie out of one of the best-selling children books of all time (the book is only 48 pages long and mostly pictures). Well you can’t hate them for trying.

OK, so Where the Wild Things Are is based on a child called Max, who is basically a brat and has no friends, who runs away from home and sails away on a boat to an island where wild things live. (Whoa, wait a minute. How the heck does this kid become like a sailor on a boat that is basically on the ocean?) Once he encounters the Wild Things (huge beasts) and they try to eat him, Max explains they can’t eat him because he has magical powers and could destroy them all. He also persuades them to allow him to become king. ( How is this a kid’s movie when the Wild Things eat humans?) The rest of the movie teaches Max how he isn’t old enough to truly take care of himself and how he needs his family. (That's all I will say, in fear of giving away the ending, not that I’m encouraging ANYONE to see this movie.)

But let me just make this VERY clear. This. Movie. Sucked. It is just SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO STUPID AND BORING! My 4 year old sister hated it! It is definitely one of the worst attempts EVER when trying to create a movie based off of a book. Max was a cry baby and a major brat. He bites his own mom and she doesn't hit him? Be reasonable moms, if your 8-9 year old son stood on your counter when you have a new boyfriend over IN a wolf suit, shouts “Feed me, woman!” and then BITES you (not like a nip, but actual teeth marks) you aren’t going to do ANYTHING?!? And how does this kid survive on an island for like 5 weeks without food? It was just idiotic and unreasonable. So, for all you other critics that get PAID to do what I love doing, who paid you off to give this a good rating? Certainly not me.

1 star out of 4

Law Abiding Citizen

So Gerard Butler just kicks total ass. He was bad ass in 300, he was a smooth ass in The Ugly Truth, and now he becomes an unpredictable ass-HOLE in this year’s best crime drama (so far).

When Clyde Shelton (Butler) opens the door to his home, he never had the thought that in a few minutes he would be stabbed, watch his wife get raped, and watch his daughter die. After suffering one of the worst sufferings known to man, Shelton wants revenge. Unfortunately, the prosecutor that is working for him, Nick Rice (Foxx), doesn't seem to know the difference between winning for whats right and winning for a good conviction rate. When only one of the robbers in Shelton’s house gets the death penalty (the one that didn’t rape or kill anyone, by the way) and the other only gets 5 years, Clyde begins to plot. And boy does he. After 10 YEARS(!), his plan starts going into action. Now this is where things get all weird and awesome.

Clyde somehow lures his wife and daughter’s killer to a car, which he drives to an abandoned warehouse and goes all Jigsaw-y (the guy from Saw) on him. He paralyzes him and cuts him into 25 pieces with surgical precision, and he never looks back. He records his little moment and sends it to Rice (Foxx), and starts killing everyone that was involved in his family’s trial. He blows the brains out of the judge, blows up about 6 city officials, and kills his attacker’s attorney, while he was in JAIL!

It was unbelievable yet captivating at the same time! I won’t tell you the ending but, wow, it’s crazy. This is a DEFINITE must see.

3 1/2 stars out of 4

Whip It

Parents are always telling their children to “Follow your Dreams”, and that’s just what Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page) does, no matter how unbelievable it is, in this directorial-debut of Drew Barrymore.

“Whip It” follows the story of Bliss Cavendar, an Indie-loving, unpopular teen that is continually pushed into beauty pageants by her over-bearing mother, as she makes the transition from her normal, follow-the-rules routine into her alter-ego, Babe Ruthless, the fastest, slippery Jammer (a position in Roller Derby) on the leagues worst team, The Hurl Scouts. Along the way, Bliss discovers first-love and heartbreak in the man of her dreams and has to constantly overcome mother-daughter differences. But as I mentioned before, a lot of this movie was unbelievable.

First, she lies to the Derby league about her age and she gets away with it? Come on, even though Ellen Page IS 22, she looks like she is 18 (the league age is 21)! Second, there is a part where Bliss and the man she falls in love with break into a school to go swimming in the pool? Where are the security alarms or janitors after what felt like three hours of swimming? And thirdly, since when do parents not care about their 17-year-old daughter on a school night? Although Bliss lies to her parents about taking an SAT class in order to make practice, she is gone from the time school lets out until midnight and no one is worried?

I’m not saying this movie wasn’t good, because it was (especially the names other derby members have, like Jabba the Slut and Smashley Simpson), just a lot of this movie was very unbelievable.

2 out of 4

Orphan

Okay, take this from a person who HATES horror movies because he gets scared really easily. This is not, I repeat NOT, a scary movie. But this movie is still really good. From the beginning where you watch how traumatizing a still birth can be on a mother to the climatic end where everything starts to fit into place about Esther, you are on the edge of your seat, popcorn rushing into your mouth faster than ever, heart beating like you’re running a marathon, and the soda is gone before you know it.

Ok, so as I mentioned before, the beginning starts out with Kate Coleman having a flashback on her still birth. While trying to deal with their loss, they decide to adopt an older child. a girl, for their deaf daughter to look up to. While at the orphanage, John stumbles up stairs and finds Esther, a very bright and mature little girl that came to the U.S. from Russia. Well, Dad and Esther click immediately and about 10 minutes later, Esther is coming to the Coleman’s home. As the movie progresses, you learn that Kate is a recovering alcoholic and weird things have been happening around Esther lately. A girl she didn’t like somehow broke her ankle, a nun who is suspicious of Esther turns up dead (you watch Esther take care of her with a hammer), and the Coleman’s son, Daniel, is somehow trapped inside his tree house that is on fire. After someone AGAIN tries to kill Daniel when he is in the hospital, Kate cracks and hits Esther, which leads to her being trapped in the hospital and receiving a shot to knock her out, while her deaf daughter and oblivious John are home alone with Esther. Will Kate be able to save her family after everyone has turned on her because of her beliefs about Esther? Or will she be to late?

(Note: Do not see this movie if you are having thoughts about adoption)

3 stars out of 4

Funny People

I went to see this movie on Friday night. I walked into the theater at 9:15 p.m., bought my popcorn and drink, parked myself in the best seat left and waited for the movie to start (which was at 9:30 p.m.). Do you want to know what time I got out at? 12:20 a.m.! This movie is just WAY to long! I was nearly pleading with the screen for it to end! And near the end, its not even really a comedy anymore, its more like a SOAP OPERA! Judd Apatow should know how to create a great funny movie, since he directed The 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up. Now that I got that off my chest, lets talk about the good things about the movie. First, ADAM SANDLER! I personally never really liked Adam because he was always WAY to obnoxious for the screen. Yet, somehow, he has given one of the best performances of his life! He was extremely funny in this film and was able to keep his composure ALMOST throughout it all. Just an all around great performance. Second, Seth Rogen. Is there a film this guy can’t be funny in? I enjoy watching his films so much, it almost feels like he is that one friend everyone has that just keeps the jokes a-rollin’ the whole night. And last but not least, the all-star cast! Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Aziz Ansari, and also with performances from Ray Romano, Sarah Silverman, and Eminem, just makes you laugh at how funny this movie will be JUST WITH THE CAST! How many movies can do that!?

1 1/2 stars out of 4

Sweeny Todd

Yes, I know Johnny Depp stars in this movie. Yes, I also know this movie is a musical/goth movie. And no, I don't have a problem saying I enjoyed this movie.

OK, so this movie is centered around Sweeney Todd, a weathered man traveling to London on a boat with a dark and disturbing past. Turns out, ol’ Sweeney (Formerly known at the time as Benjamin Barker) had a perfect life as a barber with a beautiful wife and baby girl. One day, a man named Judge Turpin, one of the most powerful judges in the city, sees Todd’s wife and wants her. So if you were a man in power and were used to getting what you wanted, what would you do? That's right, he took her and her baby, while Todd was sent away (you never learn where to). Well, Todd wants revenge and doesn't want just to kill him, he wants to kill him with his trusty razors. And with a loyal woman at his side that needs a new SPICE for her meat pies, there is no stopping the deranged duo.

Although the blood in this movie looks a little like fruit punch, this movie is still gruesome and shows what level people would sink to in order to get revenge. Plus, the songs aint half bad.

3 stars out of 4

The Ugly Truth

Another romantic comedy where you know what is going to happen in the end………(sigh). Thank God that it’s at least funny!

Abby, a workaholic producer at a show that is getting canceled, is looking for Mr. Right. Mike, the host of cable t.v. show “The Ugly Truth”, KNOWS there isn’t a Mr. Right. When Abby’s t.v. show just isn’t doing good in ratings, Corporate decides to bring in someone to give the show a little spice. Who do you think that is? If you guessed cable t.v. host Mike, then you would be correct! Soon after their first encounter, Abby meets her “Mr. Right”, who lives next door. Only problem is, Abby just flat-out doesn't know how to make a guy like her. Well then, who should she ask for advice? If you guessed, Mike from the show that tells women the truth about guys, well you would be right again! You’re good at this game, or is it simply because we all have heard the same story line about A HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES!? Seriously, how hard is it for Hollywood to make a movie that surprises you, instead of just making you laugh at parts and wishing you were doing something productive with your lives at others? Maybe I’m being to harsh. This WAS a funny movie. Just the thought that you know whats going to happen at the end is just depressing. If you have never seen a romantic comedy before, go and see it. If you want a good laugh, but not so funny that you’re crying, see this movie. BUT, if you want to actually do something with your life instead of wasting 97 minutes of it, pass on this one.

2 stars out of 4